"I am driven by a lot of really, kinda ugly anger."
Henry talks about his life and his anger in this awesome video. He has been with me (in my heart and soul) for over 25 years. I have seen him speak eight times, shook his hand at Amoeba Music in L.A., bought and read every single book he ever wrote, and once I stole the set list off the stage after a Rollins Band show in Petaluma. I know it is sometimes difficult to understand that people like me and Henry walk through life seething with rage but the real truth is usually a pretty ugly truth. Angry nonconformists exist. I do not see the world through rose tinted glasses, I am wide awake and I am angry. This has cost me a LOT in my life: jobs, friends, lovers, and family. But I am now in my '40s and this is simply who I am. Hopefully, like always, I can follow Henry's (Black Flag's) advice and RISE ABOVE the bullshit that is thrown my way.
Here's a pic of me in Seattle at the punk rock exhibit at the EMP museum in Seattle.
This guy is my new hero! And he's a millennial? Will wonders never cease! Dear readers, even if you have no intention of deleting any of your social media accounts, I strongly urge you to watch this amazing TED talk anyways. Lots of incredibly useful information.
It's been about a week since I deleted my Instagram. Life is wonderful out here on the fringe. I still have friends and job offers yet that low-humming anxiety is totally gone. How lovely.
Well folks, there isn't much more to say. About five years ago, I deleted my FB. Yesterday I deleted my Instagram, permanently. All I know is that I'm a GenX punk rocker chick, and I don't really care about creating an online presence or branding myself as a "tribal fusion superstar" or any other identity that brings me "followers" and "likes". My entire life has been about creating and sustaining authenticity and social media is anything but authentic. I'm tired of having stomach aches reading youtube comments. Are you guys serious? I cannot BELIEVE I am saying this...but back in MY DAY if someone spoke to me in person how most folks speak online they would have a broken nose from my forehead. Honestly, I don't want to be a part of the conversation for the simple fact that it is not a real conversation. It is not real communication. It is something different. Something my sci-fi authors (heroes) warned me about a long time ago. This life is too...fucking...short for this kind of soul sucking activity. I never had FOMO and I do not give a fuck what people think of me. I do not follow trends. In fact, I am the biggest outsider I know. Take every single thing that is conventional in this world and I am the exact opposite.
an anarchist since the age of 16
a woman who is not a mother and never will be
I only have experiences as an American but in this country, the norm is to be a political, god-fearing consumerist who does not give one fuck about education. If you are a woman, your life has no meaning unless you have babies and if you are attracted to fringe subcultures you are instantly labeled an evil satanist. If I am truly all these things, then it makes total sense that social media is not an important component in my life.
So I got rid of it.
I will continue with this website and even expand a little outside the realm of dance with some articles I've written concerning other subjects. But as far as social media is concerned, I am gone. The ghost in the machine has left the building. I am much too busy living in the real world. Bye Felicia.
Hey dancers! Remember that time you absolutely killed it on stage dancing to Faith No More? No? Just me then? Cool, cool.
Thank goodness I found this video because this is the absolute best of my dancing. This is before my rib injury and I am at my peak. But more than that, this is who I really am. I am a complete outsider with huge anger issues. I love Faith No More and I love Mike Patton because I can scream along with him and the music feels like a general expression for people like me with extreme angst and opinions that do not match mainstream society. Ten years of bellydancing and this is one of my very best performances.
Well, this was certainly a magical, unexpected event! I am a member of the SF Silent Film Festival organization because I am a secret jazz baby at heart. I love the 1920's for too many reasons to list here (Egyptian Revival fashion, anyone? I live for it). Imagine my shock when I opened the flyer for this year's list of movies and BOOM! The Dumb Girl of Portici was playing, starring none other than my all time favorite dance inspirational goddess/muse Anna Pavlova. I actually gasped out loud. She was filmed only a few times during her career (once at Douglas Fairbanks' house he filmed her dancing-there is only a 40 second clip that has survived today) and this movie is the only full feature film. Since I've read every book written about Pavlova I already knew about the film. I had seen still shots, and actually dreamed about the film. And thanks to the bohemian artistry of the beautiful city of San Francisco, I got to SEE the film. Here are some still shots of the slideshow they played before the film started. These were pictures I had never seen of Pavlova (I truly thought I had seen them all), and the second I saw them I burst into tears. I was practically crying through the entire film. She was acting, but I could see her dancing in her acting. It was magical. I never thought I would ever ever see this film so I feel very grateful for this experience. Tears of joy. For more information about Anna Pavlova, click HERE and HERE.
Greetings! I have many amazing muses within the tribal fusion community; I buy their DVDs, watch their videos, take their workshops--and I am very grateful for their inspiration. However, when it comes to inspo outside our little belly dance community, I look to Mary Helen Bowers of Ballet Beautiful. Her workout videos are definitely a staple in my fitness routine and she is a MAJOR inspiration in my life. Don't be intimidated! Just remember: you do not have to be a ballerina to train like one!
Want more dance fitness inspo? Click HERE.
This is the place where I track future performances and announce updates in the Blackhoodygrrl world. There is also bits of poetry, musings and eye candy, always keeping with the theme of Sacred Dance.
Dark Beauty Magazine
Dress for Success
Ghoul Next Door
Pixie Vision Photography
Riot at the Rite
Sisters of the Black Moon