Hullo, my name is Blackhoodygrrl and I am a goth.

There. I have had this website since 2009 and I am finally ready to say that officially. I identify with a subculture that sprung from the roots of punk rock in the late 70's. It began strictly as a music subculture, highly influenced by such bands as Joy Division and The Damned. As time went on the term "goth" gradually meant to define a lifestyle as well as a music preference. This lifestyle included an aesthetic (BLACK) as well as practices (frequenting goth night clubs) and personal philosophies (non-conformist). This has been my tribe since 1993 and as my favorite blog of all time sums it up: "It wasn't just a phase". As I creep into my 40's, I'm laughing at myself because I still need my little flashlight to look into my closet because my entire wardrobe is black and I have very minimal/low lighting in my bedroom because I like to sleep in cave-like conditions. Ahh...some things never change.

Like most goths, I've had some terrifying experiences with total strangers on the street, on the bus, on BART, in restaurants, in bars and other public places. These experiences either resulted in violence or humiliation. I've had garbage thrown at me, I've been chased, I've been viciously screamed at by bus drivers telling me I was the devil, and the absolute worst of them all--I've been called a Nazi. I'm a very, VERY strong individual but I must admit being called a Nazi hurt me to the bone. I remember the incident very clearly. I was walking in San Francisco (one of the most progressive and open-minded cities in our country) and I was wearing black doc martens, black jeans, blue bomber jacket and a black Skinny Puppy t-shirt. And the crucial detail-my haircut.

For over 20 years now (WOW), I've had a very common and popular haircut amongst goths that I like to call the unisex industrialist haircut. Back in the day, we referred to goth as "goth-industrial" or "gothic-industrial" because industrial bands go with goth culture like peanut butter goes with jelly. You basically shave your entire head except the top, which you can leave as short or as long as you like. Sometimes you can spike it up and make a cute chicken hawk, or you can use hair product and slick it back. Or any other way you choose to wear it. Male and female goths both LOVE this style. But apparently, the kids who saw me thought that people who shave their heads and wear boots MUST be Nazis, and boy did they let me know how they felt.

This incident left a very bad taste in my mouth. I was never going to stop identifying in this way, but after that day I felt cautious about revealing that side of myself. Which brings me to today. I'm not sure I am ready to deal with all the ignorant hatred surrounding my subculture. I would not be surprised if someone DMs me after reading this just to call me names and tell me "I need Jesus" or some shit like that. Therefore, even though I would like to deep dive into my favorite subject and tell you all about it, that might not happen. I am not sure if I will expand this page in the future, but I hope I find the bravery to do so. We will have to wait and see.

In the meantime...if you're curious about this subject I suggest you head on over to Angela Benedict's youtube channel. She is fierce and fabulous and has zero qualms about discussing all things goth. Almost everything she says about our subculture I agree with and I love how she educates the masses in a very down-to-earth type of way. Plus, I feel like she is an east coast version of myself--trad goth, gen-x, super opinionated, still dressing like it was 1996. YASSSSS. Go grrrrl.